I am interested in any experiments in which our aesthetic ideals and the uncanny outside world clash, and I believe this is the only way for reality to emerge. Beauty is real. For this reason I cannot believe that any fully autonomous self-definition -the fantasy of being solely what we want to be or belief we are)-, without any pestering influences from outside, can ever lead to any kind of transfigurative beauty. That is, on its own, it cannot lead to anything real.
Seeing all our faces in augmented reality painted over with the most unsophisticated retouch blurs -as an afterthought instead of an engagement-, I decided maybe instead I should sometimes post something more resembling what I think I look like in the mirror. This is not more real per se, but at least it bears witness to a more sophisticated battlefield of what we see, what we don’t see and what we want to see, than any cartoonesk reimagining of ourselves in AR. This is important to me, because my aim in AR is generally to introduce a measure of disorder or add an imbalance to it. I seek to point out the entropy in digital space, so that reality might emerge. Different from at least the idea of VR, AR clashes with offline human reality by definition.
I see my father reappearing in my face. I see an older me that smiles less but looks less uncanny. I see I am tired. I see I am angry for no specific reason. I see the boyish features that I thought were with me forever giving way to something more, dare I say.. manly? grown-up? Aging is an opportunity for disorder, and so an opportunity to engage with the thing you call yourself as something new.
The only question is now, how is this self-study of changing facial features relevant to people who may have never seen a physical you? Well maybe it isn’t at all but I will still put this photograph here for future self-reference and as my about me pic.